The Day the Earth Quaked

I was at work this afternoon when the earthquake [hit? struck?] “occurred.” At first I just thought that I was having the shakes from being hypoglycemic. Then when it didn’t stop, I thought “well, must just be this migraine I have.” And then I realized that it wasn’t just ME moving, it was everything. Then I thought “fucking a – I work in the back corner of an office facing another building, if this thing collapses, I am going to die.” It did not occur to me that we were having an earthquake, I just thought about how I had no idea what I was supposed to do if the building was about to collapse. The fire safety director has gone over fire procedures 4,922 times, but we’ve never discussed earthquakes. If he was going to have me get up from my desk every 6 weeks I would hope that he could at least extend the mini-vacation for me and cover natural disasters in our casual meetings about the fire warden checking the bathroom for employees before evacuating. Truly this fire safety director does not thrive on tall tales and drama. Boy, have I got a thing or two to teach him!

In the moments following the epiphany “holy fuck it’s an earthquake” I thought about where would be the safest place to be. Then I remembered when I was doing my Wikipedia stream of consciousness reading  last week, and reading about John Lautner and the Chemosphere… the effing CHEMOSPHERE is suppose to be the safest place to be during an earthquake because it’s anatomy is that of a dumbell, which I guess is more forgiving when the ground is shaking, and the house is basically balanced on a pole and a humongous concrete base that has become one with the earth’s mantle.

Aside from my retro mod obsession, I had also just been reading about the September 11 exhibition at P.S. 1, which did nothing to help but secure the idea in my mind that New York City was under attack, and that my tiny office building was going to collapse in on itself like a dying star.

Thankfully my neuroticism is met with more logical reasoning from my coworkers. Could you imagine if I was the boss? We all would have evacuated and then gone out for ice cream and vodka to calm my nerves.


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