3 things I see wrong with dating in New York.

Just a few things that have come to my attention in the past few weeks. I can’t really say that there’s only 3 things wrong with dating in New York or that they’re all the fault of the man, but triads are good, and having a blog apparently makes me an expert/right on all subject matters.

1) Why can’t men pick up the phone and call to make a date? Texting is not an appropriate form of communication if you are SERIOUS about someone/something. The only time that I can foresee this being a reasonable tactic is if you’re in a foreign country and don’t want to make $1/minute phone calls to your dream woman you met at a cafe in Paris [I am not daydreaming about my weekend trip to Paris at all].

2) My friend (and definitely a friend and not me just alluding to a “friend” when it’s actually myself I’m talking about) went on a date with this guy a few weeks ago. They went to Pastis for brunch, which is a great idea, and also almost a surefire way to ensure there will be a second date. There was another date, in which they went to a speakeasy, and he bought her her $20 glass of scotch. Then they went to get food after, and because she ate and he only had a double drink, he let her pay. Maybe because she pulled out her wallet, which I will never do (because I’m a bitch like that). Anyway, he let her pay for her $10 dinner and his $8 drink.

She was a little wary after that. She wondered if he was cheap. I wondered if he had any manners, and had any idea how to court a real woman in New York City. I am all for splitting the bill later down the road when you are “equals” and the woman wants to exercise her power/status, but at the beginning, like the second date, I feel that men should be attempting to impress the shit out of the woman. This is just my personal opinion.

Anyway, this guy asked her to go for coffee for their third date. Hell fucking no. He’s moving in the wrong direction. She and I had this conversation this morning:

Her: He texted to see why I had gone MIA on him. Do I need to respond?
Me: Yes. “Because you’re a cheap mother fucker”
Her: Yeah exactly. That’s the only thought on my mind.
Me: You should just give me your phone and I’ll take care of it. Though I suppose for a man that hearing that would be repulsive. They would be repulsed by a woman who would say that, even if it is true since we’re supposed to be altruistic and shit.

She said after that, “aren’t you a vessel of truth this morning. These pithy remarks…”

Yeah, that’s me.

3) Oof. I also loved the forced intimacy/premature PDA. That might be the most foul foul to make. Another friend told me about a time that a guy put his hand on top of her hand while they were out on their first date, likely in the 1st round of drinks, and gazed longingly into her eyes. I equate doing that walking into an interview, throwing down your briefcase, then sitting down in a swivel chair and putting your feet up on the interviewer’s desk. I know there are some appropriate sayings that go here, like the horse barely being out of the gate, and some other shit like that but everybody knows I always screw up those idioms so I’ll just let you leave them in the comments section.

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