I’m baack.



I’m back.


My mind is still here, but what of it!?

As we were leaving the hotel for the airport on Wednesday afternoon, the valet was asking me what the highlight of my trip was. I stared at him blankly. He said, “did you guys do a helicopter ride? A boat tour?” I looked to the heavens for answers, didn’t get any, and then looked at the valet and said “uh, the entire trip?” Hawaii, in general, is a dream. Hawaii in December on the beach with a very amusing man friend is like… the stuff that wet dreams are made of. It’s hard to pinpoint my favorite moment of the entire trip, but there weren’t any moments where I was like PLEASE GET ME HOME, and really just a lot of moments where I was like PLEASE GOD DON’T MAKE ME GO HOME. I felt calm and happy and content and kind of like maybe if I just wandered off down the beach that I wouldn’t have to come back to the very real world of working and schooling. My guess is that if I stayed in Hawaii, my mom would be really sad, and I would have to pick up a waitressing job. If you knew me during my tenure as a caterer, you and I both know that I do not have a special aptitude for serving food to people while being pleasant. So, here I am. Back with my dog who was so excited to see me yesterday that he basically ran back and forth across the living room for 15 minutes in disbelief that I had come back to him.

Anyway. Despite the unpleasantness of wearing a winter hat, I am back, and excited to see what 2012 brings. I foresee a lot of schoolwork, mixed in with some cakeface world domination, more travel, more wearing of high high heels, and general but abundant happiness. This paragraph is in no way some sort of subliminal suggestion that I am becoming a cheerful optimist. Sarcasm and cynicism still abound enough for me to acknowledge the shortcomings of others, specifically, that whoever that dog owner is who didn’t pick up their dog’s shit this morning will be paid back with a bird shitting on their head.


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