Last week I had some long winded post planned about how yesterday was the happy anniversary of my divorce. It sounded bitter so I threw it out because who needs that. I mean, really.
The past few weeks I’ve been noticing an increase of Facebook relationship status changes. And not in a good way. Every time I see the news, my heart breaks a little bit. Not so long ago I had a day where I felt all relationships were doomed. I at least don’t feel in crisis anymore, but I do look around sometimes and wonder how anyone stays together anymore. It makes me sad.
I can and will admit I did not have any freaking idea what I was doing when I got married. I mean, I thought, here, I have a person that I feel this love for, I trust him and have faith in him and we’re gonna make it, goddamnit. Looking back, I was a woman child who didn’t have the slightest clue how fucked up shit can get.
I thought long and hard about if it would be weird to post wedding photos. I decided there are way weirder things to be doing, and besides, I never did anything with my wedding photos because everything was going down the pooper by the time I got them. I never look at my wedding photos, but going through them this weekend made me feel strange, like I was rehashing a dream I had a million years ago. Given that I’ve lost a friend and a sister in law, HAC is the only person in this photo that I still speak to, and that feels weird enough… never mind the mind blowingness that I was standing in front of 100 people affirming my commitment to some assclown.
Hey! Yeah, that was a little bitter lash out. BUT WHATEVER. I made it to the 4th paragraph without being a cold hearted bitch.
This seems like an appropriate time to make a shout out to the people I love the most. Thank you for being there when shit was rough. Thank you for being there when shit isn’t rough, and thank you for knowing that I am more awesome as a divorcee than I was as a single woman, and most definitely more awesome than I was as a miserable married person. Hallelujah, etc etc. As Jackowitz once said, “sorry about the relationship going in the pooper but hayyyyy new york you are single again!”