Those are not cankles.

I got very deep into my Facebook timeline last night after family dinner. My palms got all sweaty as I was browsing back through the dark ages of my newly minted, horrid marriage but then other things appeared that I had totally forgotten about. Like this:

Things You Should Never Wear

Tony Coleslaw will never forgive me for this. I may very well never forgive myself either, as wearing a nude unitard on carpeting makes me look like I have cankles. Crazy calves, yes I have those, but not, for the love of God, cankles. NO CANKLES.

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