Things that have been happening.

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1) Saturday I was walking Earnest to the dog park and ended up behind an older man and a somewhat younger woman. They were both laughing lightheartedly. They were also both smoking. As I walked behind them I thought “what are you laughing about? You’re killing yourselves!” And maybe it was at that moment that I realized my love affair with smoking was over.

2) I have been seeing some Facebook posts lately by people I am not really friends with who insist on using ALL CAPS TO DRAW MORE ATTENTION TO THEIR MASS SELLING PYRAMID SCHEMES. I’m not into it, but I do have an intense fascination with how things like selling Mary Kay and Tupperware actually work since most people’s social circles are not big or deep enough to withstand someone CONSTANTLY SELLING THINGS in an obnoxious maner and the fact is that the people selling them are likely not sales gurus. I did read in my Kotler marketing book that Mary Kay gives her top sellers pink Cadillacs though, and that, my friends, would have been my Barbie dream come true when I was 7 years old.

3) This wasn’t lately but I’ve been thinking about it. Someone who was somewhat new to New York once told me she would travel all the way home to Springfield, Massachusetts to have her hair cut because she didn’t “trust anyone in New York” to touch her hair. I looked at her like she had a twelfth head. Are you kidding me? WE LIVE IN NEW YORK. I’d forgo haircuts in the suburbs for years if it meant one good haircut in New York. God knows I tried to force bob haircuts several times before Simon at Panyc finally cut my hair into something that didn’t look my mom put a bowl over my head and cut with some dull scissors. In any case, if you see me soon, do not look at my hair. I need a haircut in a very bad way. Shameful. Also, I haven’t had a bob in years which is neither here nor there but I just had to remind you.

4) I was walking Earnest the other day and two kids were throwing a baseball to one another. Boy B missed the ball from Boy A and so Boy B said “you stink at throwing” and Boy A said “I’m catching.” As if his shittiness at throwing could be excused if he just pretended that he wasn’t practicing throwing. Haha! I love the logic of children arguing.

5) Right after I passed that hilarity, two 12 year old girls were walking with a toddler. They must have been joint babysitting, because everyone knows two 12 year old girls is better than one. The more stylish of the two had an iPhone in her hand. The old lady grouch in me thought, “what did she do to deserve that!” as I only acquired an iPhone last February as a Valentine’s Day gift to myself. I am pretty sure that some 26 year old saw me at 14 and thought “how come that child has the original Nokia remote control cell phone? What did SHE do to deserve that?” and yeah, you’re right, I did nothing to deserve it. I was spoiled, but I also was very cool and hung out with people who drove so my parents excuse was that they always wanted to get in touch with me. So, yes, I was spoiled and very cool and also played flute in the band and drove a purple Ford Taurus that had like 100,000 miles on it so naturally I fulfill that mental picture you have of me as a teenager and I look exactly like Cher from Clueless.

Not really. This is an actual representation. That’s also my car in the background.

Dress Up for Your English Final

Same thing, right?

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