I’ve got an infestation of drugstore/cigarette beetles in my kitchen. I’ve started seeing/feeling phantom bugs on me. I’m about 5 seconds away from totally losing my mind.
Have you ever seen that movie Bug with Ashley Judd? She starts dating some nut job who insists the government is after them, and also thinks there are bugs on them constantly. I am pretty sure someone removes their own tooth, and shit gets hairy.
Anyway, I haven’t quite gotten to the point of lighting myself on fire. Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to ruin the end of the movie for you. If you’re angry that I’ve spoiled the ending, please feel free to come over to my place and experience standing in my kitchen and finding yet another beetle in some inconvenient location and freaking the fuck out.