I proposed to take care of all of my cousin’s life problems for her:
Me: I wish I could do it for you.
Her: Me too.
Me: Like in that movie with Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan.
Her: That’s quite the analogy.

Walking across 7th Avenue at 23rd Street last weekend and talking about “bully sticks” for dogs and how unpleasant it is when her dog eats one:

Cara: The entire house smelled like dick.

After that I’m pretty sure every gay man in the vicinity made a face like this:

[photo via Popwatch]


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