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fashion

Early in my dance “career” (i.e. approx. 1997-2007) I had a thing where I always wanted to wear risque dance costumes, like hot shorts and shit. Instead, I was relegated to wearing ill fitting mens clothes. Several times.

Late in my dance “career” (i.e. now) I would rather lay face down in a dumpster than parade around in spandex. Since I am the clothier of cakeface, I call the shots now!

Lo and behold… CAMP CAKEFACE.

camp cakeface

These coordinating camp separates are for our new piece, harold, i hate you. We had a showing on Wednesday night and my mom (my mom! She still comes to all of my performances!) snapped this pic of me and Jeso. Me and Jeso’s other mom, Cassie, said we couldn’t be any cuter. I feel totally comfortable in tooting my own horn and saying YES, yes we are.

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It’s Thursday!

I took a self imposed weekend Monday and Tuesday.

On my way to this right now. #nyfw
Monday Funday
Not going to work on a #Monday suits you. #funday
3.1 Phillip Lim
3.1 Phillip Lim
3.1 Phillip Lim
3.1 Phillip Lim
3.1 Phillip Lim
3.1 Phillip Lim
3.1 Phillip Lim
3.1 Phillip Lim

Nathen, a friend of Dominic’s who I have now declared my own friend, designs accessories for 3.1 Philip Lim. He was super generous and invited us to the Fall 2013 show on Monday. It was a very cool way to spend a Monday afternoon. Also, seeing my boyfriend looking dapper and spending a weekday together is kind of like getting electrocuted, in a good way.

But, so, the show. WOW. [You can see the Vogue runway photos here.] The pure volume of pieces is impressive, if not the design of everything. So perfectly disheveled and cool and like… you would feel pretty badass wearing it. I saw this bag from a mile away and am now obsessed with it.

Nathen told me it’s rabbit fur. It must be so soft. This is where someone figuratively dumps blood on me, right?

Monday night was the after party. Dominic nearly cried (I am totally kidding) when he found out DJ Jazzy Jeff was DJing. There was sweaty dancing, and then a tired cab ride back to Bushwick… and inevitably I didn’t hydrate well enough while imbibing moonshine so Tuesday was… a little rough. But that’s ok when you pretend that it’s Sunday!

Strickly.

This is just a short list, but I think you will find if you ponder them for long enough, that your brain might actually explode inside your skull.

1) Marriage contracts. I mean, at first thought, this seems like a repulsive idea. How dare we! Then, as Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington, says “It’s back to the past, which used to involve dowry, bride price, economic arrangement. Nobody pretended this was not an economic arrangement… [but] it’s newly arrived at after a period of extreme romanticism.”

I’ve only just come to the realization that when people get engaged, not everyone is like, SO THRILLED. Though I am not particularly proud of being an asshole, I have been involved in conversations at weddings that are like “I bet you $20 this thing doesn’t last two years.” I think I’d much prefer for people to come to my second wedding and be like “yeah, in 20 years this thing will be legally dissolved.”

2) Rethinking Sleep. I have mostly been pondering this when I wake up in the middle of the night and stare at the ceiling, or turn my bedside light on and write and sketch. I’ve decided it’s most productive to be awake when no one else is awake because you’re not getting distracted by everyone being alive. This article suggests that you’d eventually fall back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night. Or, if you’re me, you’ll just somehow stay awake for the rest of the day.

Yeah, I don’t know how I’ve been pulling it off either.

3) And on the least most serious note. These gold pants have been really doing it for me lately. I finally solved the mystery of how to wear those coated leather looking jeans, so now I’m onto more ambitious things, like looking like C-3PO.

c3po

I’m pretty confident that I can’t wear these without looking absurd in a bad way, so I think my great love for them will remain a great internet romance.

Untitled

Remember the other week when I posted that picture of me petting a goat? I also said that my mom is a hoarder and I bet those glasses were still on a shelf behind her office door?

They were there. I found them this weekend.

Glasses Series 6

Somehow the lenses don’t look quite as large when put on an adult face. Disappointing.

There were also 4 other pairs along with them, all straight from the 90s. I’m quite enjoying the very round ones below.

Glasses Series 2
Glasses Series 3
Glasses Series 9
Glasses Series 5

Barbie® Fashionistas™

My friend AS and I have this thing where we online window shop and then send links to each other. We call it “Barbie thoughts.” Is that incredibly sexist and denigrating?

Probably.

But we don’t care.

Last weekend I stopped with my mom in Lenox, Mass. for lunch and some shopping. As the (early) gift to commemorate me emerging from the womb, my mother bought me a pair of faux leather pants (they’re actually these).

I’ve solved the shoe problem by finding these robo-cop stiletto babies on sale on ideeli. They are my birthday present to myself. Also, once they are in my possession I am pretty sure they will be considered a weapon.

If I had real balls/cajones, I would top it all off with this burnout devore jacket. I found one like it in a small shop in Lenox, but it was entirely too much money and they also sold purses still in plastic bags there, so I was not convinced it was an investment.

I found this, a suitable non-Yoko-Ono-esque top to marry the pants and the shoes, but I can’t quite justify spending six $10 bills on one shirt from Urban Outfitters.

I suppose I will continue my quest. Anyone have any ideas? I feel like my consignment thrifting friend, Debo, will have a solution to this unimportant dilemma I’ve found myself in.

Now, you say, what would you wear them with?

YOU COULD WEAR THEM WITH ANYTHING. And you’d kind of have to because the cost of accruing a new outfit would just be death by credit card debt. Santa will not be bringing these. Maybe Santa’s evil twin, eBay, will in a few months when someone realizes they were an impulse purchase and they need to pay off their $9.3 billion credit card bill. Fingers, toes, ovaries crossed.

I can almost hear my brother’s voice in my head now: “Where the hell did you find those?”

Ok yeah, maybe they’re something Marie Antoinette would wear. WHATEVER. They’re friggin magical, and I would flounce around downtown in them any day. Just give me a pair. You’ll see.