pop culture reference

In an ongoing effort to catch up on things that were relevant in my youth, I watched The NeverEnding Story last week. My friend Amanda has so much pop culture knowledge that she dispenses it on the regular and likes to make other people (re: me and Trevortin) lists of film/television/general pop culture to catch up on.

Much like my Ferris Bueller’s Day Off experience, my expectations were over inflated and full of fanciful delusions. But in the case of this film, I had only one hope; that seeing it would somehow make up for years of people crying out “you haven’t seen NEVERENDING STORY!?”

It all started out innocently enough. Dominic and I had a debate as to whether Bastien and Atreyu were the same actor. I commented positively on the special effects being so convincing considering it was 1984.


The swamp of sadness happened.

swamp of sadness

I often find myself in a similar power struggle: while not a horse, Earnest wears a harness similar to a saddle, and he can be a stubborn dick when taken on a walk. Anyway. I could relate to Atreyu’s despair of trying to get his horse through the swamp. Maybe so much, that when Artax sunk into the mud I cried into Dominic’s shoulder.

Oh yeah. That happened!

Actually, I didn’t even see the technicalities of Artax being absorbed into the earth because I had to look away.

Tell me, were you this horrified when you watched THE NEVERENDING STORY in like, the 80s? Moreover, did you take away the same “save the planet” message that I did, in 2013? The imagery of Fantasia, broken into a million pieces and free floating in the universe left me to wonder what will become of my posterity. The earnestness of the childlike empress’ face didn’t help my existential quandary either as there were actual tears rolling down her face while screaming “Bastien!” Laugh about the ridiculousness of a flying dog, friends, but a planet busting apart seems not far off from where we’re headed.

I imagine this post will be when people stop recommending movies to me because you are sick of my analytical tirades, but if you don’t hate it completely, leave your suggestions for my next viewing below!

My first first viewing: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off


Yesterday I received a small nugget of pop culture education. Dominic and I watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. For the past 26 years I have managed to remain ignorant of the valuable history lessons that this film holds. Namely, that Ferris Bueller was the original Kevin McCallister and Jennifer Grey really was the face of the 80s.

It’s probably hard for you¬† anyone (except me) to understand the vast exaggeration that people make of Ben Stein’s “anyone” bit. Can you imagine being 27 and for your (perceived) entire life hearing people say “Anyone? Anyone?” as if this was a brilliant line they conjured up on their own, and then hearing other people laugh like it was funny, and you still being completely stumped as to what this meant, and then being 27 and seeing this movie and thinking “wow, I haven’t been missing anything this entire time?” Well, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY.

Cable television also had this effect on me several years ago. Or maybe it’s an ineffect as I haven’t really been all that impressed with its self proclaimed superiority over the antennae television of my youth.

I’m still holding out hope that at least some of the other items on my list may yield some sort of pop culture nirvana:
The Breakfast Club, I was told the other week it was a movie about existentialism. I’m skeptical.
Taco Bell, any value from this experience seems highly unlikely given that I like $20 enchiladas from a grammatically incorrect Mexican chain in New York.
Anchorman, specifically to understand the context of “I’m kind of a big deal.”
Slurpees, or is it not plural?
Sixteen Candles
Pretty in Pink
Never Ending Story

This is where you grab your face and pull your eyes back and scream “WHAT DID YOU DO YOUR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD?” and I look at you like “I don’t know.”

If you have other suggestions, please leave them below or on the social media of your choice, I think I’d like to compile a user-generated list and make a mockery of myself.

[gif created by me. At least I am not missing out on the memes of the 21st century.]

The Hot Matriarch texted me yesterday to ask if I wanted to get lunch. Her opener was…

“Hey, Betty hater!”

I laughed. I didn’t mean to appear to be a Betty hater, though I guess used the phrase “eff that Betty” would make me come off as being a Betty hater.

Then, I remembered…

OF COURSE I love Betty Draper. She shot those pigeons in the Season 1. Click here to see her in action. Nightgown, cigarette and BB gun. I recalled yesterday that AS had this picture printed out in our old cubicle and we would look up wistfully at Betty in moments of excruciating pain due to idiocy, and hope one day we too, could stand in our yard in our nightclothes, cigarette hanging out of our mouths, and shoot at our obnoxious neighbor’s trained pigeons.

Of course, years later, I realize that Betty Draper is a maladjusted womanchild and her acting out is infantile. So, no, I still don’t want to be Betty Draper. Joan Holloway wins again!

Also, I saw Ken Cosgrove’s doppelganger walking a cocker spaniel this morning. Nbd.

This is familiar to me. In the height of Sex and the City, the roommates of 1704 would sit around the coffee table with an ashtray and chain smoke through an entire episode. Generally at the end of the episode, the trio concluded that Tony Coleslaw was either Samantha Jones or Miranda Hobbes, depending on whether he was eating that week or not.

In place of a show based on nothing other than Sarah Jessica Parker being modest in bed by wearing a bra, but openly wearing belly shirts in public, I have converted to Mad Men. Are you wondering, “is she saying that Mad Men is equivalent to Sex and the City?” I am not, but the feeling is the same. In 2003 everyone wanted to be Carrie Bradshaw. I am pretty certain, prior to Betty Draper/Francis getting depressed and gaining 10-40 pounds, every woman wanted to be Betty Draper/Francis too. An uninteresting, frigid mother of three she was, but she was also skinny and had awesome clothes.

How hot did she look in that episode where her and Don go to Rome?


Now no one wants to be Betty because they have her in a fat suit. At least we think. Last week AS and debated whether or not the previous week’s episode of Betty Draper getting out of the tub was actually her or she was wearing a fat suit. AS said “there is no way on earth her agent/manager would allow her to gain that much baby weight. Her double chin was fantastic though, I caught myself with my mouth agape several times throughout that episode.”

In any case, I was never one for Betty’s attitude. But god, I do love Joan. Joan with the awesome work outfits and the bright red hair! She’s also sassy. And Roger Sterling bones her. And Roger Sterling is a hot silver fox. What’s not to love? Other than that she marries that loser idiot, Greg…

SPOILER ALERT: I am about to declare my love for Joan based on last week’s episode so if you haven’t watched it and I am going to be personally making you want to gouge your eyes out by telling you what happened, TURN AWAY NOW. Please, turn away.

I especially loved Joan last week when she told her rapist, controlling and manipulative husband to get the fuck out and never come back. She looked hot in a robe while doing so, which is a bonus. If I had to choose between being Betty Draper Francis in her skinny days or being Joan Holloway on a bad day, I’d pick Joan Holloway. Hands down.

But hey, I haven’t watched the latest episode, so dear god, do NOT leave a comment about whatever happened in this week’s episode.

[photos from via amctv and amctv]